Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
