when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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