i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
