Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
