I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
