STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
