OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize