Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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