my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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