i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
