I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
