Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
