When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize