He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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