i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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