YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
