Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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