Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
