Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
