Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
