She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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