So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
