So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize