Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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