I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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