She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize