my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
