Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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