i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
