the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
