Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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