yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
