2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
