I don't remember. Are we still dating?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am available for nakedness
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
