You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
