idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
