Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
