dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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