The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
