I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
