real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nicole vs. Life
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
