But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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