I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
