Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
