thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
