I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize