Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
