How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
