You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
