as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I have post one night stand depression
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