Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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