my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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