They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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