some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
