was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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