He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
