doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
