I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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