??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i believe in u and ur pee
My bed smells like the plague
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
