bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
