community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
