The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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