meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
