Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
