I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize