Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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