at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
