Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize