You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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