You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
